My new nickname is "The Status Quo"

The best things in life really are free. So are some of the terrible things. The most recent atrocity comes, of course, from MTV (goddamn kids with their hair-dos, muzak and drugs!). The show is about the guidinest of Guids living and working together in a house somewhere on the Jersey Shore.

One character on the show calls himself "The Situation". Why, you ask? Because his abs are redonkulous. So he can say "Hey ladiez, let me show you the situation" and then he can lift up his shirt, flex hard and watch them jizz in their pants. Or whatever chicks do that is equivalent to jizzing. In the spirit of hot, tan, juiced guidos everywhere, my buddy Eric has deemed himself "The Predicament" and I will now refer to myself as "The Status Quo".

So let me tell you about the state of my abs. In anticipation of the high-calorie holiday season, I have re-opened Courage Corner to the general public. Unfortunately, the general public is not nearly as excited as my close friends, who have been the only people to attend the "hugeness" sessions that take place Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays for the next few weeks. Great things are happening there and most of them involve short shorts and a whole lot of "dude sweat". By January 1st I plan to be grating cheese, crushing walnuts and hand-washing underwear on my rippling abs. In fact, I can already see the seedling baby-heads poking up through my belly like Kuato from Total Recall.

Yeah. My stomach could look like that! Awesome.

Here are a few things coming down the pipe in my bike life:

1. An amazing Christmas present for my girlfriend (think pink)
2. Fuji Gran Tourer paint job and SS rebuild (can you guess the color?)
   
3. Road wheels for the rollers

First winter ride at Hammond Hill

Ride in the rain, ride in the snow, ride through the hurt, get up after a nasty crash and ride some more. Cyclists tend to be gluttons for punishment. In the spirit of "embracing the suck" E, C and I went for our first winter ride.

It was a balmy twenty-six degrees on Saturday, with a slight breeze. Perfect conditions for biking. I got all decked out in my EMS Gore-tex coat, my Under Armor Cold Gear pants, my do-rag, skiing head band and motocross gloves and headed out to Hammond Hill for a quickie.

The trails looked so different in the winter. I seemed to lose all concept of distance and direction because I could see much further through the woods. Deeper into the conservation area, there was no wind, and snow began to fall. It was very peaceful.

The Niner performed beautifully. All reservations I had about XC riding on a rigid system are now gone. I ride at much lower pressure and definitely have to choose my lines more carefully, but my Niner Carbon Fork rocked the gnarly trail like a pro. And it's pretty good looking too.

Attack of the Hipsters

I have mentioned before that hipsters have invaded Ithaca. You cant walk ten feet without bumping into someone studying 'New Media' and showing off their web designs, Polaroid art, Chrome bags, head bands, vintage bikes, thick framed glasses, flannel shirts, [insert more hipster fashion vomit here], etc.

I found a good profile of several different kind of hipsters here:
http://digital.pastemagazine.com/publication/?i=26727&p=29

Currently, I think I'm falling a bit between the Mountain Man and the Twee.

The Twelve Days of Detox

My Thanksgiving weekend started out as an innocent beer binge at the Chapter House (watch out for malware, their webmaster sucks ass). The next three days were spent in a dizzying haze of fine spirits and even finer food.  Nineteen pounds of Rugelach and forty-five thousand calories later I arrived home feeling terribly fat and praying for a satisfying BM.

Since Sunday I've spent about 100 minutes on my new-used Minoura Mag Rollers that I scored off C-list for a cool seventy five bucks. I think that's a little high, considering that I can get the same thing brand new for 125 plus shipping. I did, however, convince the seller to deliver directly to my front door.

There are lots of good youtube videos showing exactly how to ride these types of things and all of them make it look pretty easy. The basic beginners technique is to start off near a wall so you have something to hang on to while you try not to break your face open. The first ten minutes or so were pretty tough. I took a couple of good tumbles onto the floor (and almost kicked a hole in my kitchen wall), but I picked up on it after a while and can now ride without hanging on to the door frame.

Unfortunately, I still have my mountain tires on, making the rollers sounds like a 120dB jet engine. I'm going to try to find some smooth tires until I can get my Fuji Gran Tourer back together. In the mean time, I'll just sip on my low sodium V8 and loudly grind the Thanskgiving out of my upper thighs.