Carbocide king

I've been juggling a couple of paranoid theories. Pakistani Al Qaeda spies are hunting me for war crimes, the FDA is secretly poisoning me with soy products, and I'm the unknowing host of an alien super-virus. Also, I may be allergic to gluten.

Personal reform is a painful and arduous process. Dieting is a cruel bitch. This month, I've axed wheat products from the menu. This decision doesn't translate easily to my grocery list. Shopping in the "Gluten Free" section at Tops Friendly Markets is a depressing task. The labels seem to read: "Gluten free, fat free, sugar free, hormone free". What the labels fail to mention is that most of these goods are also taste free. I tried some gluten free crackers that tasted like crispy, burnt circles of wax paper, covered in tiny, granular pieces of asphalt.

Not eating wheat is pretty easy. I steer clear of bread, crackers, pasta and baked goods. I went all last week without eating a single carb. But I committed carbocide this afternoon, with a twelve ounce box of rice pasta. My poor stomach ached and swelled like the dark and unruly currents of the Bering Sea. I'm still digesting now, almost seven hours later. As with any self-inflicted injury (like when I punched the door-frame and sprained my middle knuckle), I've been silently cursing myself all evening.

Exactly what pathetic circumstance forces me into excess? Out of boredom people often do silly, ridiculous things. Or they do something that is just batsh*t crazy. I suppose carbocide is less dangerous than any of those. Next time I really want to threaten my life, I'll eat a pound of pasta while wingsuit base jumping.

The Carbon Complex Branches Out

I have an unusually low resistance to materials science jargon. Glossary-worthy words like "dampening" and "deflection" or "ductility" make me swoon. In effect, I tend to be an early adopter of fancy new gadgety parts on my bike.

Unfortunately, this winter I've gotten pretty into skiing - enough so that I'm now considering buying a high-tech set of skis with poplar-carbon cores, magnesium nanotube sidewalls and super unbreakium mounting platforms. Just today I bought a pair of discounted Lange WC 100 ski boots on geartrade.com. The story behind the boots, which supposedly retailed for $600 and usually sell online for about $300, says that backcountry.com couldn't sell them on their normal site because the box was all torn up. I got them for a mere $146! They better be worth it.

It was an impulse buy. In addition to my jargon hard-on, I'm also a sucker for discount percentages. I will almost buy anything that has a  "75% off" sticker on it. Don't laugh! It's a disease.

So now I have to buy skis, mounts, poles, a helmet, locks, tools and all the accouterments that work with my fancy new boots. The burning desire to invest in awesome new techie parts is hard to defy. This is almost as difficult as buying a new bike! It's also pretty hard on my wallet.

There's not much time left in the skiing season here. There may be a few more good winter storms, but temperatures will only stay freezing for another forty days. The big question on the table is: can I get enough stuff together to ski on my own equipment this winter? Time will tell.

Mo sno fo sho

It has been a busy new year and I haven't found much time for blogging since the semester ended (that doesn't make much sense).

It is too cold and snowy to bike, but the conditions are great for skiing. Hitting the slopes tonight.




The backside of the quad from my office window.

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